Two-lane blacktop across Kansas

It was a hail of a trip!
Thinking it would prove more scenic and maybe save some time, my son and I left the safe and reliable interstate and decided to take two-lane blacktop across Kansas on our trip to Phoenix and Tucson.
At Wichita we turned west and took old Highway 54 heading for Tucumcari, New Mexico where we would again hook up with the Interstate system.
Our plan when we left Wichita, just after 5:30 PM, was to drive to Liberal, Kansas where we would find a hotel and spend the night.
The detour would be more than across Kansas however; we would detour through time, too. I would tell my son about other days and times when all roads were two lane, the pace was slower and filled with old barns, and small towns.
Driving into the night across Kansas is a Missouri tradition. We are usually on or way to Colorado and the mountains, and Kansas is an annoyance at best.
On this night however, with a generally full moon shining in the driver’s side widow from the south, Kansas turned spacious with farm house and grain elevator etchings along the horizon.
Radio stations in this part of Kansas carry the full spectrum of music; they had country and western music.
Grain and hog prices, and radio garage sales, joined static to complete the spectrum of wireless entertainment. Crossing Kansas at night on Highway 54 becomes an endless repetition of white lines, telephone poles, all night Pepsi machines, and empty spaces.
I drove and we talked. We remembered our other trips.
Because I was lucky enough to be a schoolteacher, I had time in the summers to take trips. Zach, and then Matthew, and I drove off to Niagara Falls, New Orleans, Seattle, Atlanta and all points in between. Sometimes we made up our route according to whim and the state’s color on the map.
We followed two basic rules. We slept only in motels with a swimming pool and ate hamburgers at least once a day. It does not take much more that that to keep kids happy.
That night across Kansas, our actual conversation is already fading in time. We talked about graduate school, music, the Royals, Republican bad breath, and ancient history. I told him about all those drives across Kansas on Highway 36 until I noticed he was sleeping.
At midnight we made Liberal, Kansas. The main attraction in Liberal is Dorothy's House and a theme park dedicated to the Wizard of Oz. The house is a replica of the original used on the set of the famous movie.
Tonight however, the main attraction was the Holiday Inn Express. Located off the main the drag, we had to cross the river and follow a labyrinth of bad signage to get there.
The Holiday Inn Express was not open. It looked like it had been bombed. Actually, a hailstorm had wrecked the place and most of Liberal Kansas. Roofers, Insurance Agent, hawkers and construction crews filled ever other available motel.
We had to drive on. My son took the wheel after I forgot to push in the clutch to stop. He could tell I was tired.
Here is where the adventure began. We were worn out and there was no place to stay. I asked an extraordinary looking lady with beautiful blonde hair and bug eyes where we might find room. She said we had best find another town.
At a convenience store the clerk turned pale when we asked where the next town might be. He swallowed hard and then choked up the name, Guymon, like it was some kind of penal colony at the edge of civilization.
Guymon, Oklahoma has a population of about 10,500, is 312 feet above sea level, and the Area Code is 580. That’s the interesting stuff.
In Guymon we found a room at a motel with no pool, a grain elevator view, and a manager who spoke only nine words of English –none of which related to the motel business. At breakfast the milk was five days outdated and the most edible offering. A sign above the counter read: “DO NOT SPIT IN THE SINK”
We left Guymon, OK the next morning knowing this was a trip we would remember for many years to come.